When did my definition of sleeping late in the morning became 6:30am? Or my definition of a full night’s sleep change to 6 hours with only 2 or 3 wakenings?
I think the two things that have saved my sanity are cosleeping and breastfeeding. You eventually learn to feed in your sleep once you learn the magical lying-down nursing move. Organically Inclined has writen a much more eloquent post on co-sleeping than my sleep-deprived brain could manage today.
The essential thing for us was to get the biggest bed we could fit, a 5 foot futon and a 3 foot pushed together and turned through 90 degrees, so the join is at our feet and there’s no chasm for babypixie to roll into, she sleeps sideways so you see why we need the extra room. If she’s ill with teething, she sleeps with her back pushed in against my belly, it’s so unbelievably cute to wake up to that.
We have often had people lay the blame for babypixie’s night wakings at our feet saying breastfeeding and cosleeping are to blame. The way I look at it is, breastfeeding is normal for infants, if they can’t sleep a full night on a tummy of breastmilk, then it’s not normal for them to sleep the whole night through.
My mother did point out to me that as a baby, a bottlefed, cribsleeping baby, I was capable of waking up to 14 times a night! So, clearly babypixie’s nightwakings, while nowhere near as bad, are either genetic or my payback for keeping my parents awake for 4 years!
Katherine Dettwyler has a great article on the culturally-imposed expectations of how babies should sleep. In it, she writes
Normal, healthy, breastfed and co-sleeping children do not sleep “through the night” (say 7-9 hours at a stretch) until they are 3-4 years old, and no longer need night nursing. I repeat — this is NORMAL and HEALTHY.
Anyways, the only real consolation is that there will come a time when babypixie is a teenager, sleeping until noon, and I, with the grace of a large hippopotamus, will charge around the house hoovering and singing at the top of my voice. When she wakes up and complains, I’ll just smile and say “Oh sorry dear, I must have gotten used to getting up early at some stage when you were young“!
For all those people who look at your little monster and say “Oh, how lovely, does she sleep? My little Orlando has been sleeping through since he was an hour old“… Sleep is for the weak has an excellent list of answers.
My personal favourite is: E. The ‘incredibly alert and socially advanced’ excuse
no, Pixiebaby isn’t great at sleeping but she’s developing so quickly (i.e. quicker than yours, missus) and is so interested in what’s going on…’. Translation: I may be sleep-deprived but my daughter is going to be fantastically successful and keep me in gin in my old age. So ner.
Because, you know, it’s the truth!
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First off – thanks for the compliment on the article! I certainly appreciate it…
Second, as the mother of two teens (14 and 15) and a “tween” (11) who don’t wake up until noon – at least – in the summer, you are right (and really do we want them awake any earlier than that?) My nine year old seems to be the only “normal” sleeper these days! You forget about those sleepless nights. Of course, I also have a 2.5 year old who wakes up for 6:30…he does sleep through the night now – but he still sleeps with us 50 percent of the time (He has a bed of his own, but it’s on the floor next to our bed).
I’m due again in September – so the sleepless nights will return!
I am curious, though, about people who believe that a small infant should sleep through the night. Would it be nice? Sure…but I’m not so sure nature didn’t make infants wake up so much during the night to prevent things like SIDS and to make sure we check on them all the time. I still place my hand on my two year old’s back at night to make sure he’s breathing!
Anyway, keep up the great work!
Mish
Organically Inclined
Thanks Mish, I completely agree with you about checking on the baby. When she was very small and sleeping on my chest a lot, I’d sometimes find myself taking an extra big breath to get her to regulate hers, if that makes sense? Probably just a paranoid first-timer here!
Orlando – indeed!
I’m with you, babies weren’t meant to sleep through the night. Which officially makes Orlando a freak!
I was a bottle fed baby and didnt sleep through until I went to school :- (
…..So I think I’ll just carry on breastfeeding thanks, if my gorgeous girl wont sleep, she just wont sleep :- )
exactly tibsy, in any case I’ve found as babypixie gets older I sometimes wake in the morning and think “did she feed last night”, check the boobs, realise they’re not engorged so yes she must have fed quite a bit, but when?, who knows? Excellent self-feeding baby!
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