Welcome to October’s Carnival of Breastfeeding where this month’s topic is “This I Believe“. This is my first carnival post so I hope you all enjoy it..
This I Believe
I believe that breastfeeding is natural but it’s not always easy.
After a healthy vegan pregnancy and a beautiful natural birth, I put my daughter to my breast. I had imagined this moment many times while she was in my womb, how she would open her perfect little mouth, drink in the colostrum that my body was offering and all would be well with the world. Then the reality hit…
She couldn’t latch on to my nipples, they were too flat and my breasts were rapidly becoming engorged. After a few hours of rough treatment by overworked midwives, my poor nipples were bleeding and my perfect daughter screaming from the stress of it all. One lovely student midwife offered to cup feed a little formula to her the first night; she understood that I didn’t want to risk nipple confusion. But the next day, I cried in my husband’s arms, I felt like a failure.
With his encouragement, I persevered another day and then another. My daughter and I worked out a method of latching that worked with my flat nipples and as my milk came in she soon forgot her initial frustration. But it took me longer to forget, six weeks of toe-curling pain as my nipples adjusted to their new pointy life! When my daughter cried for a feed, I cried anticipating the pain that was to come.
And then one day, it didn’t hurt anymore. It was amazing, I no longer dreaded feedings, I began to look forward to them.
I had to fight a lot for this nursing relationship; I fought against my own intense pain, against other people’s well-meaning “give her a bottle” suggestions, against my initial embarrassment at having flat nipples and against the fear that all my pain would be for nothing, that I would fail. But I didn’t, we made it!
I believe that some things in life are worth the fight, no matter how hard. That is why I feel sad when friends tell me that they gave up breastfeeding after a few days because it hurt too much.
But I also believe that we can’t fight unless we have someone to support us, to cheer us on, to hold our hand in the night when the pain is too much. My husband is my someone and I know that his faith in me got me through the hardest parts.
Our daughter is almost a year old now and I still look forward to the little monkey glint in her eye as she tugs at my top when she wants boobies, or the contented little sigh as she relaxes in my arms after exhausting herself walking around the house.
We have no plans to stop breastfeeding anytime soon and I know I’ll really miss our nursing relationship when she gets bigger and finishes up.
I’m just so happy that I persevered, the rewards have been immeasurable.
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Have a read of some of the other wonderful carnival posts from:
Breastfeeding Mums – I Believe that Breastfeeding Education is the Key
Breastfeeding123 – I Believe in Gentle Discipline
The Lactivist - I Believe that The Things Worth Doing in Life are Hard
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog – I Believe in Instinct
Crunchy Domestic Goddess – I Believe in Parenting by Instinct
Such Great Heights – I Believe You Do Not Have To Be a Breastfeeding Mother to Support Breastfeeding
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This is such an inspirational post.
Like you, I too found breastfeeding incredibly painful for the first few weeks and it was nothing to do with positioning. But I persevered because it was best for my baby. The pain eventually subsided and breastfeeding became wonderful.
However, something that makes me really cross is when people deny breastfeeding can be painful – The “if it is painful you’re doing it wrong mentality”. Breastfeeding is painful for many women and they need to be supported and educated that it will pass once their nipples become accustomed to being used in a way they maybe haven’t been before.
Anyway, sorry for going on a bit. I really enjoyed your honesty!
I completely agree Sinead, I found the “it only hurts if you’re doing it wrong” attitude really disheartening and disempowering.
Pixie,a wonderful post and I like the photo.I had nipple pain,too but just for a few days.So I thought that it only hurts when the positioning is wrong.It’s great Mr.Half Pint Pixie was so supportive and that you continued to nurse.
This time, I couldn’t find the time to write for the carnival
[...] Mums: Breastfeeding Education Half Pint Pixie: Breastfeeding Is Natural But Not Always Easy breastfeeding, carnival, discipline, lactation, mothering, this i believeShare This Related [...]
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story! I think there are lots of reasons for nipple pain but they can all be worked through with perseverance and, most importantly, support.
I’m glad it worked out for you. It’s great to hear of difficult nursing stories that turn out happy in the end- they are encouraging to everyone!
[...] Half-Pint Pixie [...]
What a beautiful story!
I don’t believe in saying “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong” because it’s sometimes something beyond your control (tongue tie, thrush, etc.). Much more helpful to say “if it hurts you need to get good help – right away!”
Tanya
I am sooo happy for you sharing so much with us! It will give sooo many women the courage to continue instead of quit. OH I am SO PROUD of you! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Thank you so much for your post. I’m still struggling, and getting the “just give him a bottle” message from a lot of friends and family – even more depressing because I feel like we’re so close. I’m just not getting the support I need and it’s extremely frustrating.
I’m glad I found your blog…
Great post.
what an inspirational story. i’m so glad you were able to overcome the obstacles and develop a wonderful nursing relationship with your daughter. thanks for sharing this.
Lovely to read your story… it’s great to know that there are lots of other women who’ve suffered in the early days of trying to feed our babies.
thanks for your lovely comments everyone. I used to be really embarrassed at the start that I was having problems but I got over that and now I’m on a mission !!
Isn’t it great that we have all the resources of the internet now to help when we have problems, you can always find someone who’s been through what you have!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Its nice to know that there are dedicated breastfeeders out there who had a rough start
[...] had a bloody (literally) awful time with my flat nipples at the start, I devoted another carnival post to it a few months ago, but to cut a long story short, it took at least 10 weeks for me to stop [...]